Feeling so sleepy today....Thought of continue fasting today but my stomach was so much in pain this morning. InsyALLAH will continue tomorrow. Andini also did not fasting today as she have some performance n claims that she will be very tired later. Maybe tomorrow she will continue to fast with me.


Had simple dinner yesterday. Just a piece of Karipap n a cup of Tea.


My body is aching. Haiz....I think lack of rest & sleep. Been talking to him for the past 2 days. Well we still have not come to any conclusions yet. But at least i find that i can manage to have gd sleep back lately. Haiz....

I am fasting today. Andini & Maimunah also are fasting too. Woke up around 5am today. Fry some Eggs & Chicken.


Did some shopping on Friday after work. Buy some clothings for myself. Feels great after doing some shopping. Shopping always make me feels great. Especially after the stressness. I even brought myself a new Headset for my hp. The old ones spoil so now can listen to music back. :) :) :)


Went for my Saturday class as normal. Making jewellery. Learn to do the bracelet. Then head to East Coast to met the other 4 colleagues of mine. There were suppose 12 of us. But last minute the others did not come due to few reasons. 2 of them played the roller blade while the other 3 of us just sit down n have a simple chats. Then we have Dinner at the East Coast Village. The food there are not good. I had Mee HongKong. We all also order some Satay. It is also not nice. Reached home around 9.30pm


On Sundays, accompany my parents to 2 different weddings. Both are at the community Centre around Bedok. First time i went to wedding that held at Community Centre. Can say the place there is stuffy for wedding occasions. The 1st one is my uncle from my mum's side. There were a few actors & actresses. Suhaimi, Lukman & Haney were there. Haney Hadad look more prettier than she is on the TV. She came with her mum & sista. Then the 2nd wedding is my dad's friend. So most of the guests there are teachers. Met 1 of the Ping Yi teachers. He never teach me n my sis but because he knew my dad thats how he knew us. We have a quick talk. Nice to met an old teacher who still remember students.


1st September will be Teacher's day. I forgot all about it till Andini told me that on Wednesday, they on holiday. Suddenly it reminds my form teacher of Sec 1 & 2. He can still remember me n my name too. :) N because of that he is still my favourite teacher too. hehehehehe


My body feeling aching today. I think i need a good massage. I saw some good spa treatments at the Magazine. hmmm Maybe can ask Maimunah or my mum to go along with me...hmmm


Talked to him again yesterday. He really trying hard to save the relationship between us. Haiz... I am still not sure whether to continue or not. I just told him that i need more alone. I am still confused....Haiz.....

Still feeling so damn sleepy. I realised that it been nearly a week i did not sleep well. Kind of can't have a gd sleep for the past few days.Haiz..... I am looking like a zombie now. With dark black under my eyes. Try to sleep but i cant. Cant stop thinking. Haiz....I think i need a break. Will try to take a leave next week or the week after. Make sure all my stuffs are done if i am taking 1 or 2 days leave. Or they keep calling me. hmmm


Talked to dearie yesterday. After nearly 4 days not talking to each other. We realise that we miss each other so much...But things are still not so good now. We discuss for 2 hrs but we still have not come to conclusion. Well i let him to decide now. I cant force or beg him to accept things. Just wait n see......

Feeling a bit sleepy today. I feels like the night is really short. I sleep around 11.30pm n next i know is already 6am. Usually i will wake up a few times in the middle of the early mornings but not yesterday. Maybe due too tired...


Talk to Azry aka SPOON. Good to talk to old friend. Well know him form MIRC chat. It been a while that we chat n talk over the phone. hehehehehe Still remember the old times when i am addicted to MIRC last time. :) We catch up with a few things n it is great to talk to someone that you have not talked for a long time....


Dearie SMS me to see if we can try work things out. Haiz....It is good that he still have the thinking of sloving the problems. Well i am still not sure yet whether it works this time. I just told him that i need time to think all over again before making any decisions. Haiz....


As you grow older, you have to make a lot of choices. Thats why ppl always say enjoy your youth life before you grow older where you have to hold a lot of responsibility n makes choices.....

Feeling great after meeting my aunt's family. All four of them are at home. So a lot of sharing & debating with them. hehehehehe Like i say i love being around them as i feel more loved around me. Had dinner together. Then catch up things with one another. Then had girls talk among 3 gals. Sharing our a bit of personal lifes. :) They make me feels great n less pressure of course. :)


Well my relationship with dearie finally ended. Realise now that they have been so many disagree among us. All this while we manage to clear it or so call settle the issue. But something happens and we cant come to agreement. I simply cant agree cause the thing is not allow in ISLAM. He insist say that it is matter of work. Well if that the way he is thinking than it is not worth it for us to stick together i guess. No point we keep pointing at each other to look for whose mistake it is. Haiz...


Well i have plan a few things that need to be achieve by end of this year. InsyALLAH i will the target that i set up. Some of them are 1/3 done. Needs more affort n determination to reach all my goals...

Life is really unpredictable. Full of surprises. A lot of Ups & Downs. I look back on what ever happens to me. Can say full of downs. There are ups but mostly are downs.....Haiz.....


I realise ALLAH is testing my patience in my life. Maybe to make myself better person in life or to get myself tougher i dont know. Sometimes also we tend to forgets HIM. We tend to look for HIM when are down. I admit i do that at times. I tend to forget about HIM when my "life" is up. Whenever i am down, i will quickly look for HIM. I guess most ppl do that. Always realise when it is too late...Haiz...


At times i am greatful that all this happens as it makes me realise what mistakes i have done. Whatever happens has its own reasons. Due to maybe i choose the wrong path. Due not to think what the consequences will be when i choose my own way. You tend to make mistakes in life. But ppl cant accept the mistakes that has been done by ourself. Sometimes we were not given another chance for this. It is difficult to please ppl but when you manage to please them all you get is negatives points.


My colleague, Eric, has been realising that my eyes are swollen lately. Due to lack of sleep. Yeah i realise that too. Having dark circles below my eyes. I cant sleep n it been nearly 2 weeks now. Haiz...Too much thinking i guess. Will try to get a good sleep one of these few days.....InsyALLAH.......


Will visit my aunt n my 2 nieces today. They are here in Singapore for a week. So better visit them early or they will be back soon.

My headache keep coming back once a while....Could not sleep yesterday. I realised this morning my eyes quite swollen. Thought of taking Urgent Leave but decided not too.....Haiz.....


My weekends is very bad. It is worst yesterday...I am so dissapointed with whatever happens. So sad, anger & etc.........Now i know how ppl treat me all this while.... How ppl never hear my voice, my thinking, my mindset, my idea & etc... All they can say is that i dont understand them. Dont want to understand the situation. Dont want to accept changes. All i can do is cry. Thats is what i can only do. Ppl hurts me n when i voiced back, they keep saying negatively towards me. And when i keep my mouth shut, they keep hurting me........From now onwards, i will shut keep quiet. Be my oldself where i will not say much. I will just be quiet whenever ppl scolds me, hurts me, say negatively about me or whatever. It is better that way i think. It will still hurts me but at least it will not hurts more of me...............


Will try to do stuffs to make myself busy rather than thinking all about this. Maybe do my old stuffs back where i spent the day myself or even do things on my own with quiet surroundings....hmmm

Still having headache since yesterday. Too many work n etc..........Haiz........Manage to finish some of them.........

Did my 1st training today. I was so nervous. Luckily Mr Loh is helping me out. His feedback is that i talk too fast n did not give them some time to absorb.......Well there is always other times....Just hope i will do more of this in future.....

Will have another class tomorrow. Looking forward to it. Will be learning to do the necklace. Will buy more beads n do a few more bracelet for my sistas............

Btw, met Moshee for Lunch on Wednesday with Hafiedzah. We was at the ChinaTown to look for my beads. Thats where we decide to eat at Banquet. I called Moshee up for a quick Lunch together. It been a while that met him for Lunch. Miss Banquet too. I have Chicken Chop with Black Pepper, Hafiedzah have her Fish Soup while Moshee have his Nasi Padang.

Been so busy lately. So many things need to be done ASAP..........Now i am having Headache.... :-(

Went to ALPS Avenue this morning with 3 of my colleagues to do some training. I might be doing it tomorrow morning. But i dont have the confidence on that. Talking in front of a few people makes me phobia. Haiz......It is either i try my best or i skip tomorrow training....

Had a great day yesterday especially with little Aeishah around. She is very active nowadays after she began to walk. Soon she will be able to run......The only word she can say at the moment is "MAMAM". When she hungry she will say "MAMAM". hehehehehe

My parents buy a lot of things n most of them are food. hehehehehe They can't a lot of clothes mainly because most of the sizes there are small.

My cousin, Nazrul, is chatting with me at Yahoo messenger now. Began to realise that i been missing him so much now.....Dont know when we will be meeting. Might be during the Hari Raya then.....

The class yesterday was good. I finally can do my own Bracelet with my own choice of colour & pattern. :) Will learn more like rings & necklace next 2 weeks. Will try to do more patterns and give a few of them 1st to my sisters.....From there then will decide how much shall i sell my masterpiece......After this course, i will learn how to sew......Then i can sew my own clothes with my own design maybe..... :) InsyALLAH....

Visit Mak Rah yesterday with my 3 siblings. She was alone at home. Her husband is working n her 2 daughters did not come home this week. We went there to send the Wedding Cards for our relatives who is having the wedding ceremony next month. Chat with her for a while before going home.

Thought of going jogging with Andini this morning but could not wake up. Simply could not hear the alarm. Maybe next week then. Will start jogging with Andini. At least i have someone to join me n who knows my mum will join us too. hehehehe

Talk to dearie yesterday till nearly 1.30am. For nearly 2 hrs i think. Well, we seldom had the chance to talk very long. Usually our conversation over the phone is like 10 to 15 mins. Most time only smsing each other whenever he is free from work. And we only met like 2 weeks once or later than that. It all depends if he is free from work or whenever he feels like taking an off day for that day. If he does that, he will spent the entire whole day with me. :)

Will fetch my parents today around 4pm with Brother Jaya at Airport. The other will have to stay at home. The car cant fit them all. All of us are very big in sizes so we cant fit in anymore like we used to do last time. All of us will try to fit into the car if possible. hehehehehe Those was the days when we all were younger n very small in size........... :)

There is wedding at my blk. There are 2 "Pengantin" the twins. Both were girls. Their wedding is so grand. The decorations are very nice n grand. There were Djs, Cameramen, some dancers performing some dancing shows n etc. I guess this is their 1st wedding occasions for them n furthermore they are 2 of them "bersanding" so thats why they do grandly......

Today is Ct2 besday. Wish her early morning by SMS. Hopes she have a great day today. May all her wishes came true....InsyALLAH

Still feeling sleepy. Thought of continuing my sleep but decided not to....I woke up around 8am and went straight to the Kitchen to do the cooking for today. Cook Chicken Curry, Sambal Prawns & Vegetables. Fry a few pieces of Prata for breakfast. All this for Lunch later n Dinner.

Will be going to Tanjung Pagar CC later for the jewellery making. Hopes the class starts today...

Might be meeting dearie later on. He have not confirm if he can later. Will just wait n see later. Hopes he can met up with me later..... :)

Was surfing the net n came over a few good sites. Never knew that some of them exist in the internet. Information from the sites below was quite good.... :)

Nutrition.com.sg
Health Promotion Board
Healthy Lifestyle Committee
Asian Food Information Centre (AFIC)

Singapore Sports Council

Diets.com.sg

Reach office at 9am today. Everyone thought i did not come to work today. Some thought i was on MC. hehehehehe I was late till i forgot to bring my own transit link card. Luckily there is someone who can give me some coins. And luckily i have small change in my purse.

Sleep quite late yesterday. I think around 12am. Was talking to Azli about his work n other stuffs. Dearie talk to me quite early n he went off to sleep first as he is so tired.

A lot of invoices problem for the last few days this week. All these have to be settle at least by this month. For this whole week, i did not stay up late as i decided to go home on time. Brother Jaya is working on night shift so i have to be home early to look after Andini & Farij at home.

My parents will be going to "Padang" today till Sunday. So it is free few days without them. ;-) They thought of going to Malaysia only but then they plan out last minute & when to Indonesia instead.

They shall took this morning flight. I think only Bro Jaya is sending them to the airport. Hope they have a nice holiday there.......

Nearly overslept today. I could not sleep yesterday. My 2 youngest siblings not schooling today n mum not working till next monday. She took a week leave. She might be going to Malaysia with dad for the next few days....

Will be busy today. My Colleague, Eric sms me while i am on the way to work. He needs me to help around with a few things today as he have to go site visit later in the afternoon....

Saturday, 7 August 2004

The Jewellery class were cancel due to not enough ppl in the class. They might start the class next week. They suppose to call all the students to inform of the postpone but they failed to do so. I was quite piss off as i came all the way to Tanjung Pagar n later were inform no class. Haiz...Went for window shopping at Bedok Interchange before going home. Brother, Zaidi & wife slept over at our place.

Sunday, 8 August 2004

Went for the wedding at Bedok North. Spent the whole day there. It was dearie & MakRah Besday. Dearie have to work cause they some urgent things need to finish up. While MakRah have to sent her daugthers back to Malaysia. Thought of spending the day with either of them but both are busy & futhermore have to go to the wedding. Most of the relatives from my dad's side are there. And most of them keeping asking when is my turn. Haiz.....Can't they ask other things? I just tell them that it will be another 10 years time maybe. hehehehehe

Monday, 9 August 2004

Spent the whole day at home. Help Andini to finish up her Ironing. It been weeks that she keep pending on that. Finally she manage to finish up yesterday afternoon. Watch the Parade on the TV & manage to saw Dearie on the tv. He was marching in the Padang under Keppel Group. He was quite shock as we all can see him from the TV. He having a great time there yesterday. Watch TV till 11.30pm before going to sleep.

Still in the office now......Will going off soon.......1/3 of my work is clear.....Will finish the others next week.......

Feeling hungry now...better go home now or i will be starving soonnnnnn.......

This whole week i been going home at 7.30pm. There were a lots of work to be done. Manage to clear 1/3 of them already. Haiz.....Looks like more work today too.

This morning Andini & farij wearing Red & White to school. For her, she wearing Red Blouse & White Skirt while for him, wearing Red T-shirt n a light colour of Pants. My mum wearing Red Baju Kurung while me wearing White Blouse. :) All in a mood of National Day already. hehehehe Thought of wearing Red Tudung but decided not too.

Will have my 1st day of Jewellery Making class tomorrow at Tanjong Pagar CC at 2pm which ends at 4pm. Suppose to go with Ct1 but she and her family going Malaysia for holiday so she have to miss the 1st class. It will be interesting classes.

Will upload the pictures for last week event soon.......

Thia whole week i been going home at 7.30pm. There were a lots of work to be done. Manage to clear 1/3 of them already. Haiz.....Looks like more work today too.

This morning Andini & farij wearing Red & White to school. For her, she wearing Red Blouse & White Skirt while for him, wearing Red T-shirt n a light colour of Pants. My mum wearing Red Baju Kurung while me wearing White Blouse. :) All in a mood of National Day already. hehehehe Thought of wearing Red Tudung but decided not too.

Will have my 1st day of Jewellery Making class tomorrow at Tanjong Pagar CC at 2pm which ends at 4pm. Suppose to go with Ct1 but she and her family going Malaysia for holiday so she have to miss the 1st class. It will be interesting classes.

Will upload the pictures for last week event soon.......

Feeling frustrated since last night. My Bro, Farij really piss me off. He was not at home when he sms me, but then he try to cover it up by asking Andini to tell me he is at home. Luckily i call home n check. If i did not do that, i will be foolish believe that. My parents was not at home but was in time to reach home to cover him up. They just say maybe miscommunications n ask me to ask him nicely in future. What the heck is that??? I did ask him nicely but he gave me stupid reasons. I told Andini if she ever cover up for him, i will give her a good scolding n maybe a slap her. My parents get to know about Maimunah's relationship with her bf. My bro, Jaya saw her a few times n he told my parents about it. She was seen by Jaya last week at void deck crying with her bf. She get a warning from my parents n guess what? My parents asked a lot about her at me. When i say i do not know anything, all they say that i do not do my part to know what is happening. When i try to do that with Farij, they cover him up. But they always say all that whenever one of them do some stupid things. Now Maimunah, never talked to me. I guess she might be thinking that i the one who tell my parents a lot of other stuffs. She never tell me her problems but she been telling Andini & my 2 sister-in-laws. When 3 of them as me how is Maimunah & etc, i cant answer. I am to one to the family. All they know, they put the blame on me. It been happens again n again. Me hurts a lot when no one support u. I still remember how most of them do not like me wearing tudung. They calls me names n put me one side. Luckily i still have my aunt who help to me up.

I try to understand the situation before giving any ideas or advise but all they thinking is i am not trying to understand them. Haiz..................I also realise that whatever happens, you got to face it on your on. Dont ever, ever ask or look other people to understand you. All you get is nothing. You bound to hurt more.........From now i will not say anything anymore. Let them do whatever they want.........I just hope things will not happens badly. :( :( :(

Went home late yesterday. I think i knock off from her around 7.30pm to do some stuff. But my laptop keep rebooting. Need help from KK already. These few days might stay over late as there are a lot of things need to be done.....

It did not manage to update yesterday as was too busy. A lot of things need to be done. Furthermore i took a last minute urgent half day leave. So today another busy day for me. Will try to clear whatever things were left on my table.

My mind is thinking about something.... :( :( :(