Went to Airport with Siti to had dinner at Popeye yesterday. It was planned last minute as both of us was feeling so hungry & siti decided to try the food there as she been hearing the place too often form me. hehehehehehe Right after work, around 6.15 we went out of work to go to our destinations. Talked a lot along the way with her. Catching up what we have missed out after we go separate path after secondary school. Yes, we met everyday at work nowadays but we hardly talked things all out. Basically & most of the time we talked only about work, work & work. So yesterday was a great one. I realised how times flies really fast and we missed out a few things.
Reach home around 9 plus yesterday night. Try to sleep early but i can't as i feel too sad & moody.
Still feeling down today. Try not to think too much. Arghhhhhhhhh

Feeling down so suddenly. I keep asking myself why is this happening to me so suddenly. I guess because i feel that i been abandoned & unwanted. I feels like cying now to let go my dissapointments. Called me sensitive or whatever you want but i been in this kind of situation most of the time. People do that to me. Yes i have to accept the fact that i am not needed and my existing is not wanted not by 1 but to most people. How i wish sometimes that i do not exist in this life. It really hurts so much when people treat you this way. I am being myself & why can't people just accept me as what i am not as what they want me to be. I try to change myself as what people suggest but i can't. Basically i can't. I dont have that courage to change myself to something new. I can't. I guess that is basically why they always condenm me out & critised me.

A good night yesterday. Met Herda, Moshee & Nurynn for dinner & Supper. hehehehehehe Had ZamZam at Bugis before i headed to my school to pay my examination fees. (It was my last day to pay them& it cost me $135 for 5 Subjects) Then had supper at Pinky's Shop. Walked from Bugis to Little India all the way. We eat, walked, talked & laughed a lot yesterday.
Didn't go to my class yesterday as i rather spend time with my fellow bloggers. It is nice to met everyone up. I guess we would not have any outing till mid-August. (Not sure yet)

I was wondering and keep asking myself. What is the purpose i doing blogging. Is it for my own self or for people to read all about me. I wants to write more about what happens but sometimes i just find it too personal that i could not write in down.
Had a boring night yesterday. Mum & Sister, Maimunah are not in good terms. They tend to have a fight every now & then. In the end, i will be the place where they will say everything out. Damn irritating. Thought of going home early once in a while will makes me have a gd rest but dissapointment came. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH Yes, I should just ignore both of them. But it been happening all the time and it is irritating. Mum will nag all the way and scold u every thing u do although u are correct. Sister will throw tantrum and talk to everyone in a bad manners. When they are in good mood, they will be playing catching and laugh loudly till they tired. But if they are in a fight....................

Still had a bad headache again. Now my body is aching due to long time never exercise. hehehehehehehhe Feeling so tired.
Start off late today. This Laptop making a fuss early morning and i cant on it untill my IT guy came to the office at 9am sharp to fix it. Everyone here still talking about what happens on Saturday. hehehehehehe They all still still laughing when talking about it.
Got to do a few work here. Got a dateline tomorrow and i have not started. hmmmmmm

Wake up this morning with a bad headache. I think i am too tired after yesterday outing. Had so much fun, laughter n eat a lot of course. hahahahahaha
Met up at Yishun at 2pm. The weather was good. It was windy & with a slight raindrops. Still it did not stop us all from playing the games. We divide ourself of 19 ppl into 4 groups. Had a 5 rounds each group. At first we decide to play only with 2000 balls but end up adding 1000 more. Our big boss came & he offer to pay half of it. We were so happy as each of us pay only $30. hehehehehe Save some money there. Had a gd bath at the Golf Club there before heading to Northpoint to have our Dinner. We (Left 8 of us) all had Sakura Thai-Chi Crusine. We order 2 different set of meal for 4 ppl each. The table were full of 10 different dishes. We manage to finish them up in the end. Pay $15 each for the meal. Walked around the Northpoint before going separate ways to go home. All went home except me & Siti of course. Had a drink at Starbucks for a drink a little chat before heading home by bus. Take 969 to Tampines where i pay all my bills before going home. When i reach home, it is already 9.30pm. Had another bath before heading to bed. By then my head had been aching already. Force myself to vomit or else i wouldn't have a gd sleep later on. Still did not had a gd sleep and now it is still aching.
It is nice to met everyone again on Friday night. Went to Airport to have popeye instead of ZamZam at Bugis. The weather did not allowed us to go Bugis. Nice meeting Lynn for the first time & Bluerose again and of course your bf bluerose. Had our meal, Snap a few pictures & had some ice-creams at Swenson. Had a gd nite meetring all tat day. Hope to see u all soon. hehehehehe (Every Week there will be an outing)
Thought of going out today to buy some stuffs but decided to cancel it. I think i will just relax at home resting and do my homework later on.

It is Friday already. Yahoooooooooo Enjoy!!!!! hahahahahahahaha
Actually i cant wait for tomorrow to come. Yes, Tomorrow i will be heading to Orkid Country Club to play PAINTBALL with my colleagues at Yishun. It will be my first time going there and play the games. I am so excited as i cant really wait. hehehehehehe
Tonight will be meeting the makan kakis at Bugis. Will be eating at ZamZam again. hehehehehehe C U all tonite guys.

I realise that in life u bound to lose something once u get hold of it. We, as human always never realise all this till we lose it. By the time we realise all this, it will be too late. But i guess watever happens today is to make u a better person for tomorrow. Just hope it turns that way n not the either way round.
Will be doing a lot of training ofr the auction today. Will be quite busy today. And of course with the workload now i will be very very busy the whole day.
Will have nite class tonight.........

Feeling so tired.............Sleep late again as i find myself couldn't sleep again. Try my best to sleep early today. Had more work to be done. Half of my workload finish yesterday. Today more to go................
Class was okies yesterday. Miss a few lesson (All because go home early) & will do them at home.

Soooooooo sleepyyyyyyy. Sleep late yesterday as talking to someone. It been a while since i last spoke to him. It was nice to talk to u again.
A lot of things need to be done today. Will be busy the whole day..............

Had a great day today. Start of the day spending some time alone. It was a good day to start off with observering people's behaviour.
Met Herda at Ct Hall at 11am earlier. Had Breakfast cum Lunch at DeliFrance. Watch Movie, "Alex & Emma" at Suntec. Went window shopping after that before sitting at the Burger King. Talked and laughed a lot with Herda.
Tomorrow will be back to work. Bet there will be a lot of things to follow up.

I really had a great day today. Thanks for the wishes everyone.
Eat a lot again today. hehehehehe I think i will be fasting in the next few weeks.
Met my parents at the Peninsular Hotel this morning. Watched them bathing at the swimming pool. Then headed to Gym. Did some exercise there. (Never believe i will try them out. Luckily no pppl around.) Had Lunch at "Komalas". Walk around at the Peninsular Plaza before check out from the hotel at 4pm.
For the feast (Dinner), we had "Soup Tulang" & "Mee Goreng". Of course Chocolate Cake. :)
Had a lot of gifts from the family. Saved a lot i guess. Especially for "Hari Raya" hehehehehehe
Tomorrow will another enjoyful days with the girls.

Happy Birthday To Me
Happy Birthday To Me
Happy Birthday To Suhaili
Happy Birthday To Me

I wish myself to be much more mature, wiser, healthy and of course Happy. May ALLAH grant my wish. InsyaALLAH

Spent the whole day lazily aroung today. Thought of going out but no where to go. Thought of following my parents stay at the hotel for 1 night but too lazy. (My brother get a voucher to stay 1 nite only)
Another half hour more before 12. I will be 21 soon. I flash back my fast. There were happy n sad moments. I wish i could repeat back all my happy moments back.

I had a great day yesterday. Really really great day. Still smiling when i think of it again. hehehehehe

Start the day at my aunt's place. It been a while i been there. Nearly a month i never met or even called her. Miss her so much. She feels sad that i did not called n even cry (Her daugther tell me this) as she missed me so much. Feels so bad for doing that to her. She treat me like one of her daughters. If i am around her family, she will address me as the 1st daughter. Feels so good to be in that situation. Talked all day long with her. Telling her from A to Z of my life. Every little details. I wished my mom were like her. As usual she will keep giving me advise and i never feels bored with it.
Then headed to Ct Hall to met Herda, Moshee, Nurynn, Pinky, Naqia & "Tunang" for our dinner at PizzaHut there. Luckly the place not crowded. Thanks for the gift everyone. Like them so much. After the dinner we walked from Millenia Walk to Pan Pacific Hotel to took pictures of course. hehehehehehe Enjoy the day so much had a lot of laughs.

When reach home, my stomach in pain. hehehehehe I guess because too much eating & laughs.
Breakfast - "Masalah"
Lunch - KFC Chicken
Dinner - PizzaHut

*Can't wait Monday as i could feels that we will be having more fun. Right Girls?

A few people keep asking what i wants for my birthday. I have a few items on my list that i need to buy & pay of course. hehehehehe If anyone could get them for me then it is good for me then. hahahaaha

HandPhone 5100
Laptop
Digital Camera
Discman
Clothes
"Tudung"
Bag
HandPhone Bills

hmmmmm thats all i could think now. I will add in more if i have more things to buy.

sleep early yesterday. I think i knock off around 8 plus. Yes i am so damn sleepy that makes me sleep early. Wish to sleep even longer. Really2 sleepy lately. It is good once a while to have a gd sleep like yesterday. Feeling much better but i guess i need more of that. hehehehehe
Will be on leave tomorrow & Monday. I need a break from this stressful work. Yesh a break. A good ones. Seems to have a lot of planning for the next few days.

Friday - Will spent the day at my aunt's place. Will be meeting the makan kakis at evening for our dinner.
Saturday - Will be spending my time alone, will be going to the sea maybe. (Have not decide whether to go or not)
Sunday - Will be at home spending the day with family. (Will have a small celebration)
Monday - Will be having fun with Herda & Nurynn

All this happens because it is my birthday on Sunday. Yesh this coming sunday. :)

Feeling so sleepy lately. Maybe due because of fasting.
My work has been overloading since i took over the "Customer Service" post. I have to do a lot and learn fast. Get a feedback from 1 of the customers saying that my work is slow. My supervisor told me this and i was shocked to hear it. I done whatever i can. Chase the supplier for quotations so that i can inform them the items, do invoicing, follow up pending things and also manage some of the office workflow or items needed. (i will do them if siti cant handle them) A lot of things need to be done and now u complaining that i am slow. *arghhhhhhhhhhh*
My mom nag at me yesterday n this morning regarding i made a call to malaysia, talking to my beloved cousins, Nazrul. Usually i called him at the public phone but this time around because i cant go out that time so the only solutions is to call him from home. Why must she make a fuss from it. I did not talk to some other guys that she does not know. I talk to my own cousin. Yes, we met earlier that day but we did not get any chance to talk to each other privately. We use to talk to each other a lot through email but now he is busy that he did not get the chance to email me so the only way now is through phonecalls. I was wondering why she does not like all her children to mix with relatives. All my relatives especially from my mother's side seem to be close to me. All can get along well with me. They will contact me 1st sometimes to inform of certain things. I guess she doesnt that to be the way. I guess she wants to know all things 1st before informing her children. Watever it is, i dislike her ways.
I realise i been doing the same kind of mistake over n over again. I know that i shouldn't to that but still i keep repeating them. Hate myself for doing all this.

I decided to "PUASA" today. I been pending to do that since a few months back. Now i get to do it.
Feel so tired. Luckily there isn't much work to do.
Will be heading home straight. Feeling so tired n still a bit down exactly.
HAiz.............

"Apa yg berlaku, ada hikmah disebaliknya"

I am really really sad since last nite. I end up crying to relief myself up. I just could not accept the fact that that person repeat the same old mistake. It hurts me so much. Really hurts me badly. I shouldn't have given that person another chance. I should have just ignore that fellow. YES, I would ignored you totally from now onwards. Dont looked out for me now. I dont want to know anything about you starting today. I will ignore u totally now. Go ahead, do watever u wants. I would not say anything to u now.
Today, my sister hurt me again. I just could not take it. I feels abandoned. I feel as though i am not part of the family. Everyone seems not to respect me as a daughter n sisters to them.
I know i am unwanted to most people. People keep swearing & says a lot of bad things to me. They also looked down on me, hurting me and lots of things more. I know i am unworthy to all of you. Sometimes i just wished i am gone from this world. I love people around me so much that i keep hanging on, holding on to my life. Do watever i can to improve myself. But all these things keep happens. It makes me struck there, don't know what to do. I hate to have all this feelings but ................

I am really frustated today. Frustated with Rif of course. He supposed to met me today but then he never called. I wait n wait n at the end it was cancelled. I been waiting nearly 2 weeks to met him to talk on certain things but it dissapoint me. I waste 2 hrs outside alone. I walked around at Bedok Central before heading to the Library there. Sit there reads the magazine that i buy and watch people pass by me there.
So sorry to Moshee & Nurynn for rushing them to meet up a bit early. I was so damn bored n really frustrated. To avoid me feeling all that the whole day, i decided to rush u guys to met a bit early. We met up at 3pm at Ct Hall. Herda picked us up at Bishan MRT. Brought some drinks at NTUC before heading to her house. A lot of foods there. "Murtabak", "Popiah", "Roti John" & Ice Jelly Longan we all ate. Trying to figure out how to play the Pictionary but at the end we played Scrabble.

Sleep late yesterday, @ 1.30am. Watch malay movie "Laila Isabella" with my sister, Maimunah & my 2nd brother, Zaidi. A good funny movie i shall say. The movie makes me remind of my old best friend.
Will be meeting Rif at noon. Need to talk with him a few things. Important stuffs.
Then will be meeting Moshee & Nurynn before headed to Herda's house.

Had Lunch at Banquet Far East Square with Herda, Moshee, RaeLynn, Nurynn, Afizah & 2 of my friends, Siti H & Siti S. I feel pity for Moshee. Too bad he can't join us eating all the delicious food. Although he is in pain, he still can jokes around. Nice to met u guys after 8 days since our last met. (counted by Herda) Moshee get well soon okies. There will be more eating outing next week. hehehehehehe So that you can finish up all the food if we girls cant do it. hahahahaha

Feeling sleepy now. Sleep at 11pm yesterday. Thought of sleeping early but was online chatting at MIRC with a few bloggers. Sorry to MrRobot if my words offended you yesterday. Dont really mean to be so sarcastic but just telling you the truth.
This saturday plan was cancelled. I got this new email from my colleague yesterday.

Dear all,
Due to some ppl cannot make it on this Sat game, we have decided to postpone
the game to 26th July 2003 (Sat) at OCC from 3pm to 5pm. Those who can make
it and have the guts to play, pls reply to me so that I can compile the
names that are going.
Forgot to mention that you can ask your spouse/bf/gf along. The more the
merrier. Thank you.

So people who wanna join us please do tell me k. hehehehehehe

Sleep late yesterday. I think i get to sleep only for 2 hrs only. Well i was talking on the phone with my best friend, Azli. hehehehehe So many things to talk about. I did ask a few things that i need to know. Thanks Azli, u been a great friend.
The class yesterday was quite good. At last we get to do some practical on the PC. Of course me being the naughty ones always "cabut" a bit early. hehehehehe Been feeling tired lately due too much work. I must say that i am overload with work nowadays. Too much work. Luckily my best friend is here helping by cheering me up or else i will dead bored looking at all these things here.

Feel relief for the last 2 days. Got to talk to my best cousins from Malaysia last 2 days. He is the closest cousins i have. We share a lot of things all the time. We use to email or even chat at yahoo messenger but now due to our busy working life, we had to cut down all that. The only way now is talk on the phone or met during any family functions.

Old sweet memories came back to me yesterday. I am still smiling as i try to remember them back. But too bad that this sweet memories has to be forgetten or else other people will get hurt for nothing. It hurts me as i have to forget the situation. Why cant i just happily proceed with it without hurting other people? Why cant i proceed with the happy things that came in my life? I keep losing the happiness once i feel it.............

hmmmm tiring day. A lot of things need to be done today. I wish i could sleep more................

Tiring day today. Just came back from the wedding. Feel happy to meet all the other cousins. Even the ones from Malaysia. And everyone say i am getting FATTER!!!! Almost everyone say that and i just reply that i am too happy nowadays that i eat alot. And they thought i have found a boyfriend. When i say that i am still single and available, they thought i bluffing them. Never mind my Mr Right will come one day, InsyALLAH........

Had an enjoyful day yesterday. Had a lot of laugh during the Thai Kickboxing class. But now my whole body is aching. It has been quite sometimes i did not do any exercise. After the Exercise, we all straight went to Grand Hyatt Hotel for our Lunch. Really2 kiasu i must say. hehehehehee We start the Lunch at 12.30pm and ends at 2.30pm. hehehehehehe Some of them left and a few of us stays there to have a good conversation. We even plan to do something next week. First time we all are planning something out of office hours.
Went out with my parents & my sisters to Geylang. Brought a few Clothes for Hari Raya. Lucky for me this time as my dad willingly paid them all. Now i just can concertrade on my "Tudung" and other things. :)
Sorry guys (Herda, Moshee, Hazel & Nurynn) for not coming along with u guys. I am just too tired actually today. If my parents did not forced me, i would not have go with them.
There will be wedding tomorrow at Choa Chu Kang. Hopes there nothing much to help out......

Everyone has not reach the office yet. And as usual i came early to check my mails and og course my blog. hehehehehe
I thought that i will be able to sleep early as i left the class early as usual. I was shock to came home to c my mom is doing "Kueh Tart". And i asked her whether she's working or not tomorrow. She took MC for the last 2 days and i thought she extend her leave another 1 day as tomorrow she is not working. She told yes she working. She thought of doing the "kueh Tart" earlier but she cant as there were a few guests came yesterday. With sleepy eyes and tiring body, i help her out. She was doing it half way through with my younger sister, Andini. While another sister, Maimunah was folding the clothes while watching TV.
Right now i am feeling so sleepy. Hope there will be some energy later for the kickboxing.
Will rounder about at Orchard with Ct after the lunch before we headed our own ways to me other pals later. She will be meeting her boyfriend while i will be having another date. hehehehehehe

Sorry i could not finish up the blog earlier. I was too busy to finish them up. hehehehehe Right now also i am too tight with my work. But i rest a while to write something here.
Will not be in the office tomorrow. Will not be able to blog also. We at the office going to have 3rd anniversery celebration for the staff here. I was hopping they organize something fun n interesting n enjoyable. But they came out with this,
Activities on 4th July 2003 (Friday)
9.00am Speech by John Lim - breakfast provided
10.00am Workout session - Power Thai Kickboxing (Compulsory participation)
11.00am Shower Time - bring your own toiletries
12.30pm Lunch Time - Hyatt Hotel buffet lunch (Halal) (taxi fare is not claimable)
2.30pm Home Sweet Home - enjoy your time w Family
Please bring along proper attire for the workout session.
Will learn new things tomorrow. Will be going to the gym for the first time. hehehehehe
I wanna write more but it seems that i can overload with works here.

Had a great day yesterday with a few bloggers. Eat quite a lot of things and burst out laughing loudly. hehehehehe Sorie if i did embarassed any of u people. I am really enjoying myself yesterday.
Met Herda, RaeLynn, Nurynn, Afizah, Geisha & Moshee's Fiancee at Raffles Place MRT. Headed to LPS where we met Thots, Anis & Moshee there. I had "Nasi Pataya". Eat some Satay and chicken with 2 tins of drinks. I realise i eat a lot yesterday. I was really hungry actually and thats makes me eat a lot. But then when i reach home i was too full and tired and exhausted.

I will try not blog in malay again. Sounds so funnny when i read them back again. hehehehehe I realise a few of the bloggers too wrote in malay. hehehehee So sorry for those people who visit here who cant understand my malay language. hehehehehe
Will be having fire drill here at Far East Square from 8am till 11am today. Not quite sure if all have to assembly at the ground floor later.
I bet the day will be gone fast today. Not much work i hope.
Will be having a small gathering at LPS later.

Khair telah memberi inspirasi kepada aku supaya menulis dalam bahasa melayu. Bahsa ibunda katakan. hehehehe Memang dah lama gitu aku nak cuba menulis dalam bahasa melayu tapi tidak ade keyakinan diri. Lagipun kalau aku tulis dalam bahasa English lagi senang. Boleh memperbaiki bahasa kedua aku itu. Tidak sarap jadinya. hehehehehe Maklum ah kat rumah cakap melayu, dgn members pun melayu, ada kalanya pun cakap org putih campur aduk. Rosak btol aku nya perbualan. ROJAK. hehehehehe nasib baik aku tidak tahu Tamil atau Cina. hehehehehe
Sejak menjak ini, fikiran aku campur aduk. Banyak sangat hal ataupun masalah di minda aku ini. Haiz.....Tension betul. Aku cuba letak tepi semua masalah aku ini tapi haiz......... tak tau apa yg harus aku buat. Aku rasa aku perlukan cuti untuk rehatkan minda dan jugak badan aku yg penat ini. hmmmmm Aku rasa aku akan ambil cuti pada 18 dan 21 July. Ade sesiapa kan join in sama ambil cuti sesama. hehehehehee Tidak pergi mane2 ah. Dekat Singapore jugak. Kalau ade ramai nak ikut bole ah aku atur acara yg best2 on that day. Kalau tak aku lepak kat rumah makcik aku aje.

Did not sleep quite well yesterday. I even cry to make myself sleep. It been a while i did not do that. I realise i really miss someone. An old friend whom i lost contact with since last 3 years. Miss him so much. He was my best friend, 1st guy to be my best friend i ever had. Due to some miscommunications we lost in touch.
This morning receive a nagging from my mum for nothing. She was angry with my sister, Maimunah and she will just nag to anyone there. And at that time i was helping her do some cooking so i have to hear all her nagging early morning.
Thanks Herda for your help again. hehehehehe