Feeling tired today.
Met up the gals....Nelly could not come at the last minute so there were only three of us. Had dinner at Long John Silver at Tampiness. We just hang around there before went for my last minute presents. Manage to but my dad a shirt n a t-shirt. Hopes it an fit him n he likes the colour chosen. :)
When i came back at nearly 10pm, there were quite a lot of ppl at home. My 2nd brother, Zaidi n Kak Zana were there. My dad's friends were all there. I think there were 7 of them. Luckily my mum did not work yesterday n she have the whole day to prepare the food for the people to eat.
Next 2 days will be busy as i have a few plans already...Looking forward to it. Just hope i remember to take some pics for the next 2 days....

Feeling fresh today. Have a break yesterday. :) :) :)
Met Ernie & Moshee on Tuesday nite for Dinner at Parkway Parade at Banquet. It been a while meeting them and we miss someone too. Hopes to met up with her soon.......
It is a nice break with dearie. Spent the whole day with him. Really enjoy myself. Thanks dearie, i have a gd day yesterday...Yesh i am seeing someone now. Hopefully it will be last, insyALLAH. :)
When read up my emails today, saw something sweet from my pen pal from Indonesia. Thanks Nazar for the nice picture that you do there. It makes my day. So sweet of you to do that. Sorry i can't show you as it is only for my eyes. hehehehehe ;)
Will met my 3 gfs today. Miss them so much already. A lot of things need to catch up with them. :)
Another note today is my dad's birthday n i have not buy him anything yet. Haiz...Try to search yesterday but could not find any. Will give him later on weekends then...

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I can't sleep again yesterday. Now i am so tired n my body aching.
Instead of going home straight yesterday, went for some shopping at Bedok. Buy some stuffs before heading home. Once reach home, do all the housework n get my rest after that. But still did not have a good rest. I don't know why i can't sleep. Haiz...
Will met my aunty today. "Dialah tempat aku mengadu." Need to met her n maybe tell her what happen. She would not be so happy to hear about tis later....Thought of not telling her but still i need someone like her now to be around. Her presence in my life change a lot. Her mother love makes me still going strong till now. If not i am not sure how am i now..........
Will take leave tomorrow. Will spent the day with the love one. And the same time have some matters that need to be discussed. Will get lots of answer by tomorrow... :) :) :)

2 days did not update. My PC at home keep hanging while surfing and this make me can't update.
Last 2 days were not a gd days for me. A very very bad one for me. Haiz..... I learnt something for the last 2 days. Here is the list that i learnt.

As a sister MUST always give in to your siblings.
As a sister MUST keep my mouth shut after a fight with my siblings.
As a sister MUST always take the blame for all the mistakes that the other siblings have done.
As a sister MUST be prepared to be bullied by the others.
As a sister MUST not cry or they will laugh at u at the end of the day.
As a sister MUST always do the housework no matter how tired u are.
As a sister MUST accept that NO one will respect you.
As a sister MUST not be too sensitive.
As a sister MUST be prepared to take all the family's burden.

You may not agree with my list above but this what i learnt for the last 2 days. I am hurt with watever happens for the last 2 days. Really really hurts. But i am not in the situation to do anything. I am feeling down since saturday. Hopes these few days will be better for me. InsyALLAH.

I am feeling so sleepy today. My body is aching. Too tired. Did not sleep well yesterday. I don't know why i cant really sleep lately. Haiz... Will try to get a good sleep during the weekends. So far i have no plans yet for the weekends. Might just be at home as usually.
Will have some training session here at work. There will be a few of my colleagues giving out presentation on what they have do for the last few months. Hope the presentation later did not make me fall asleep...
I realise i am eating a lot lately. It is a must that i eat my Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner. Usually i dont really eat my breakfast but now it is a must. "Macam maner badan tak lekas naik" Will try to cut down on my eating habit or i can't control it later on.
Did not went to my aunt's place yesterday as i was too tired. But when i reached home i can't sleep. All i do is read the latest "Manja" and listening to my favourite music.

Yesterday my 2nd Brother, Zaidi n kak Zana came to our house. And he brought "Rojak" and 1 thing is missing in there is my favourite Potatoes.......Glad to met them especially Kak Zana who is now 4 mths pregnant.
Yeah i agree that when you are far, people tend to cherish you more. But sometimes in life you need these no matter how far or near as it bring some happiness in their life. Actions talk more louder than speaking itself. I dont believe when people talks but tend to believe more in action. Haiz.......I guess thats how life is.
Will be going to my aunt's place again today. Yeah now officially stop going to class. So now i guess every Tuesday & Thursday will be going to my aunt's place. I shall start to study now. My 1st exam paper will be on 20 May 2004. So must start now or will be in a rush later....

Got the poem below from Anakmelayu.

Seduce my mind and you can have my body,
Find my soul and i m yours forever

Be my eyes i met u,
Be my soft hands i hold u,
Be my lips i kissed u,
Be my heart i love u

Pejuru mata,
Riasmu jelita,
Terkelu kata,
Hatiku cinta



I still could not sleep yesterday. 2 days straight i can't sleep well. Now i am feeling so sleepy n my body is aching too.
Got a pleasent present yesterday.
Went off a bit early from office then straight to Ubi to take the test at 6.30pm. The test was 50 - 50 ok. I am not sure whether i can pass it or not. InsyALLAH......
Instead of going home straight, went to my aunt's place. My 2 lovely cousins were at home. I was so surprise to see them there as they suppose to be at Malaysia. Miss them so much. It has been a few months i have not met them. Both of them not feeling well and thats why there are here in Singapore. The whole family were at home. We eat together as a big family. I miss that as the 2 gals are in malaysia all the time. Something touch me yesterday. I could not eat seafood now but sometimes i do eat them when i get no choice. My aunt cook "Kuah Sotong Hitam" n vegetable. My uncle reminds my aunt that i can't eat that n she have to cook something else for me. I am so touch as he remembers. Unlike my own parents they just ignore about it. Thats why i like to spend my time at there. I feel the love n care from them...
My colleague Eric, will me on MC today. Will cover his job today....Hope not much work on his side....

I can't sleep well yesterday. Now i am feeling tired n sleepy. Something is not right somewhere as i have some bad feeling yesterday....hmmm
Try not to think much about it but me feelings is strong that something is not right somewhere....Hope to knew something soon....
Will be taking my final Theory today. I hope to pass this time around or i will give up i guess. Haiz....If this time doesn't work, i will sign up the class......

Aeisyah came to the house again yesterday evening. Did not manage to take her pics as the batteries has not been charged yet. My brother went to play soccer at the nearby neighbourhood so he drop kak Tini n Aeisyah at our house. As usual having fun playing with her. :)
I have plan a few things that need to be done ASAP. Have to start to do them or i will delay the whole process again...
Ct2 is on leave today. Will cover her work. More work on my side today. Need to finish up pending stuff ASAP or my colleague will start chasing me for it....

Finally get to met Aeisyah yesterday after 2 weeks. Last week she went To Gunung ledang with her parents. She is so big now n heavier of course. hehehehehe Times flies so fast that she is 7 months old now. :)
Wish i am married with children now. hehehehehe Forget to inform you all that Ct1 has safely delivered her first son, Muhammad Nuriman on 8 April 2004. Have not visit her yet. Suppose to go with my another classmate but still been not feeling feel lately. Will visit you soon gal. Sorry for the delay.
Thanks for caring towards me...A few people been sms me to give some encouragement. Feels better now. Will plan out some plan to keep me accompany n of course to prevent me being sad in future insyALLAH....

Sleep early yesterday but still sleepy now. Spent the day at home today. Went to library to borrow 2 books earlier. Ask Andini to accompany me but she prefer follows Maimunah to help her do her work. :(
Will try to get myself to sleep rather than let myself to think so much...
Today's my cousin, Nazrul Birthday. Sms him exactly at 12am. Been a while that i did not talk to him. Realise that miss him so much. Don't know when will ever met him again.
I am feeling so moody n low lately. Yesterday before going home from work, i had sudden attack of headache. Don't know why the sudden for that. But my feelings told me that somethings is not right. Try not too think too much on it.
Better catch a nap now before my dear Aeisyah came here later on....

Haiz.....Things seems to be out of the way.....Yeah it hurts when someone say nasty things, never be there when we need them, ignore you, never think of you n etc.....
I been in that before n i am still going on n on..........It hurts a lot to eat all those pains. But you can't change them. These are facts of lives. There are people who always keep hurting us on & on. It just how you face the problems. Sometimes you need someone to comfort you but i learnt that the best way is to comfort ourself. It takes time to do that but how long will it takes....If i take a longer time to heal myself i guess i will become crazy now. You will not see me for what i am now. Yeah it is easy to talk but when the things happen you will lose out in the end.
Suddenly whatever happens in the past came back into my mind. Why do i still going strong? Why i never save myself in the past n why now i realise all that? In order to keep someone happy, i chose to hurts myself. Now i am suffering and i dont regret it as i believe whatever happens has it reasons. But along the way, the pain was really suffering. People who knew about my past will look down on me n blamed me. But when i am facing it no ones knew n no one really cares. But 1 thing they are shock to see that i face all of it alone n still holding on till now. I am jealous when i see happy people around me. They have families, bf, husband, wife, siblings relatives, n even friends around them. Yesh i have all of them too but they are not always there for me. Most of the time i can say. There is 1 time of my life i hate all of these people. Really hate them that i decide to end my life, ran away from them n even wish they died faster. Yesh i do that thinking once but alhamdulilah now i do not have those thinking anymore. I just lead my life as it is n always think positive. People still do keep me down, hurts me n etc but at the end of the day, i told myself to forget about it n let them be.
Just hope things are better for all of you.
If not, please remind yourself that in order to be happy, trust yourself. Make yourself happy no matter what people do to you n no matter how hurting things are. Let them say, do n hurt u as much as they want, As long as you knew that what you do is correct is good enough.

Had a shock yesterday. Get to know that Farij knew about my blog. How long have he knew i also don't know. He also a member at FriendSter.com, I do not knew that he knew all this. No wonder he been using the net so often lately. His gf also has a blog. I will link her up soon....
Yesterday was so bored. With no plans n nothing to do. Instead of going home straight, decide to walk around Bedok as there were Pasar Malam. Walked around nearly 1 hour before going home. Buy some stuffs. Instead of saving my money, i buy things that i dont really need urgently. Well i am feeling bit down lately, so i need things that can make me happy. I also do that in order to make me forgets all the unneccesary things. It kind of bad but i have no choice i guess... Haiz.....Thanks dear for worrying about me. I am always ok although i am not at times.....
I received the following SMS from ANDY. Yesh he sms me the following although he is overseas now. Never thought he will. :) Maklum ah org kapal.....hehehehehe

You can make more friends in 2 months by becoming interested in other people than you can in 20 years by trying to get other people interested in you. Andy_XR

Andini will be back today. Miss her so much..........

Still feeling so sleepy. Did not have a gd sleep yesterday. Andini Went to camping starting yesterday n will be back tomorrow. My sister, Maimunah sleep outside n i sleep alone in the room. I got the bed all to myself. :) :) :)
Couldn't sleep yesterday as there were so much of thinking. Haiz....Why can't i just ignore them? Why must i keep thinking about it? But at least i manage to let it out by crying....Feels a bit better but still a bit down......Haiz...
Brought myself a pack of Chocolate powder. Decided to pampered myself with chocolates. :) Will drink more of the hot chocolate now. :) :) :)
My body is all aching now. All i need is a good sleep n rest of course.....

So full so tired so sleepy......Thats how most of us feels after Lunch today. Too much food n now my stomach is so full.........Having stomach pain too now. Long time never eat too much and laughter too. Enjoy the time spend with them. Well suddenly miss my few bunch of friends.

*WHEN ARE WE MEETING UP??? MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH NOW*

Feeling so tired today. Yesterday my mood is so down. I am feeling so moody n tired. A few people realise that n ask a lot on how am i yesterday. I am feeling lazy n tired yesterday........Even now.......
Another gd thing today is that will be having staff Lunch at Hyatt. Yesh the whole of us here will be having Lunch there. Good to have a special treat once in a while from the management here.

Went home late yesterday. Met 1 of my gf at Bedok. We "Lepak" at Bedok Long John Silver. She kind of stress and needs someone to talk to. The other 2 gfs having other plans so there we were the 2 of us. Had our Dinner there n talked all the way till 10pm. There's a lot of things that we have to do. Never realise that things are complicated once you getting older. A lot of responsibility to be done. But i am "Syukur" that my life is a bit better than my gf. Although i also having other problems but there can be control n solve easily. It just needs a bit of my courage n patience to face it. Haiz........
Yesterday i was pissed off by someone. Haiz......Kind of irritating that the person tends to do that to test me how sincere n how trusting am i towards him. Isn't that childish??? If you dont like me or dont want me to be with you, leave me by all means.
By the way, while talking with my gf yesterday, saw AM with his friend there. :) Sorry if you saw me a bit "sombong" but i am shock n shy to saw u. hehehehehe Furthermore never expect to saw you. :)
A lot of things are in my mind now......Need to solve them ASAP or it will stuck in my head......Could not sleep well yesterday as too much thinking.....Haiz....

Never realise that it been a year that i been blogging. Yesh i start last year on the 11. It had been an interesting experienced while blogging on the internet. I met a lot of people online and some of them just knew them by reading their Blog...
It is a good thing i have this blog as i can refer back to see the old memories that been happening in the past. When i read them back, i can't help smiling after reading it. Can't believe that all these happens...

Long weekends......Kind of good.....Can't update while at home as my PC at home having some problems.....

Friday, 9 April 2004

My parents went to JB on thursday night and all of us left at home...Went out early morning and spent the day with Saleem. He wanna met me since last few weeks. So decide to met up last thursday...Then after the met, me follow my 3rd brother, Jaya to chalet with Andini at Pasri Ris. It is his gf's chalet. Had lots of fun n food there...

Saturday, 10 April 2004

Thought of spending the day at home sleeping but my aunt called me up to come over her place for a chat. She miss me i guess. :) So around 3 plus head my way there to her house at Bedok North. Luckily it is the same bus service towards her house. My parents were back by then. They went home early as they do not want to caught in the heavy traffic on Sunday.

Sunday, 11 April 2004

Went out to met Omar the guy that i been talking too lately. Well it is my friend who recommend me to him. Met him at Bugis then head to Tiong Baru to catch a movie there. We watch "Taking Lives" and i must say it is a good movie. So go ahead a watch that. :)


I wish i am still at home sleeping and resting..........This morning i having a hard time going to work as i feels so lazy.......Maklum ah dah 3 hari cuti.....hehehehehhe

Now i realise how jealousy can do to someone...........Dont really understand why some people would not admit their mistakes. They knew how to point to other people only. But actually they themselves start 1st and now they are pointing at other people. What the hell is happening??? Usually when these things happens, i will just totally ignore the person but when it effects someone close to me, it will make me piss off!!! Get a life you people..........
Why cant you just let that person do watever he/she likes??? Its her/his world n why must you care??? When you get the remarks back, you shoot a lot of bad things but when you did tat, that person keep her/his mouth shut. Isnt that unfair??? Now who is the one is childish, lame n can't take any critise here. Can see now that you people can't accept the fact that you are being commented. Cut the crap people cut it!!!! You people should grow up not the person who did tat to you. Never realise that these things still happening now.

Got this from Herda.....

Suhaili from this day forward you will also be known as Midnight Pupil


Dinner was good yesterday night. :) Thanks Andy........ Yesh i met him. It been 2 years i guess when i last met him for the 1st time for my 1st gathering. Well never thought that will met him again yesterday. We did keep in touch with each other through the net n lately through phone. :) Had our Dinner at PizzaHut @ Suntec then went for a walk around the area. After a while we just sit down n talked all the way till 10pm........Never realise the time...I enjoy my day yesterday. Thanks.......
My family will be going JB tonight. I am not following them....Enjoy!!!! hehehehehehe Will have 2 dates for the next 2 days.... ;)

Went to Chinatown yesterday. Last min plan with Ct2 & Supinah. Well, Ct2 wants to buy some stuff there so we all decide to met up at the last min n went there. Walked around there for a while. Then have Dinner at KFC.
After reaching home, Found that the Whole house is in a BIG MESS especially my room. Without any questions, i was being scolded for all the mess. I just came back and i get that!!! My 2 sisters were out for Tuition. My sis, Maimunah is doing tuition with Andini's friends and most time Andini is following her. And most time they will leave the house in a hurry without doing anything. And at the end i am the one who have to clear all the mess. Piss me off. When i talk back, i was label as "Kurang ajar" for answering back n when i keep shut i get all the blame again n again. Haiz......It makes so piss off at times n sad too. :( :( :(
But someone manage to cool off all the tension i have yesterday. But still it hurts me in any way.........
Will be meeting an old friend for Dinner later. Will having free Dinner of course. hehehehehehe


Note: Let them say what they wants.......They will stop once they are tired.......

Feeling sleepyzzzzzzz.......
Lately been sleeping late as talking over the phone with someone. Yesh it been weeks now. Been talking to the same guy every nite.......Began to like him a bit but still too early to say anything. Lots to know about each other. Get to knew him from a friend who is happens to be my current customer. Met the girl before and never expect her to recommend someone to me. hehehehehehe Will met him one of these days.......
I have not start my revision yet. I have to start soon or i will have no time to do that.......Will have to set a time table soon.......Have to make sure that i pass most of the subjects that i took this term or will have to retake it later at the end of the year. I have 2 more subjects to take at the end of the year. So if possible not to add any more by end of the year. My class will end by this June. Not sure if i wanna take new course or finish up current course first before taking a new one. hmmm Still have not decide.......Have to decide fast as by next mth have to start applying.......
Work has been quite good nowadays. Back to the old time where i have my own free time.......Not so stress up now. This is what i like.......But need to follow up a few pending items that been pending quite a few mths. Once all this settle, i will be lesser stress. :) :) :)
Officially finish up the class. hehehehehe Will have more time for myself. I guess will use this free time studying n catch up the things that i been missing for the last few months....

Spent the day yesterday at home. Cleaning the room & Sleeping of course. hehehehehe The weather was quite good too. :)
This morning my mind thinks a lot. A few things are in my mind now. Haiz......Will write them down n try to solve them on my own for a start. If can't will talked about it......
Someone like this song as much as i do..... :)


Mungkin - Anuar Zain

Biarkanlah saja diriku sendirian tanpamu
Biarkanlah saja diriku sepi tanpa kata
Bukan maksud untuk membisu
Sepi tanpa kata
Terpisahnya kita kerana mengejar impian

KORUS:
Mungkinkan bersama
Dua jiwa ini
Dalam mencari cinta sejati(nan suci)
Mungkinkah segala derita di jiwa
Akan terubat jua akhirnya

Biarkanlah saja diriku
Sendirian tanpamu
Terpisahnya kita kerana
Mengejar impian

(Ulang korus)

Hanya satu pintaku
Sabarlah menanti
Ku kan pulang bersama cinta

Just finish cooking & clearing the kitchen. Doing it all alone. Still feeling tired. Yesterday was fun. Catch the movie at 10pm with Andini & Farij. We watch the Scooby doo 2. It was a funny movie n we all had a great laugh..... :) The movie ends around 11.30pm. we manage to catch the last train at Ct Hall around 12am. Reach home nearly 1am. Yesterday was the 1st timr for 3 of us to catch a late movie & went home late.....It was fun they wants to do it again. hehehehehehe wait k if i have enough money to "belanja" u two k.... ;)
Still a bit tired. wake up around 10am. Farij & Andini have to wake early around 6am to go to their school. They are having carnival there which will ends till late evening. Might going out later. Wants to met my 2 cousins. Miss the 2 gals already. Been mths never met them as they both are in Msia, studying there.
Realise that i been over budget lately. Haiz......Will cut off my singtel line soon. Keep forgetting to fax the letter to them. Haiz.....Will set the reminder to faxed it on Monday.......

Still in the office now......I am meeting Farij & Andini to watch movie at Suntec later.....Today is the last day for the free tickets. Have to go to watch them or miss the chance later on.....
Lately too many work has to be done....So tired and i been having lack of sleep. Haiz....

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Heart of Gold


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
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Which band instrument are you?
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